


Straight Shot

by Marzos



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Minor LaFerry - Freeform, cupid!au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 15:41:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5831260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marzos/pseuds/Marzos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a few centuries shirking her responsibilities, Carmilla is finally forced to go out and perform her duties as a Cupid, daughter of Aphrodite. It seems like an easy assignment. A quick arrow to the back of a college student and her lit TA. </p><p>She didn't expect to accidentally hit herself with her own arrow and make herself fall in love with one of them. </p><p>(loosely inspired by the myth of Cupid and Psyche, Hollstein style)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Straight Shot

**Author's Note:**

  * For [From_Dusk_to_Dawn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/From_Dusk_to_Dawn/gifts).



It had been a few years since Carmilla had been on the job--give or take maybe a couple of centuries. But she would much rather be getting girls for herself than putting them together with someone else. Who wouldn’t, when they had a swanky apartment in Paris, a smoking hot body, and a city full of French women for their amusement?

 

So it was completely understandable that the ‘night off’ she had requested from Mattie ended up being a little longer than a night.

 

What she took for granted was that, eventually, all good things must come to an end.

 

_BANG BANG BANG_

 

“CARMILLA KARNSTEIN, OPEN THIS DOOR!”

 

A minute, then two, and three more vicious _bangs._ Then, Carmilla finally opened it.

 

“Carmilla, you are going to-- _really?”_

 

She was standing in front of her sister, in nothing but a bathrobe. Carmilla raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow.

 

“I’m a little _busy_ at the moment, Mattie. What gives?”

 

Her sister responded by shoving a clipboard into Carmilla’s face. “I do not care if she is a Playboy Playmate, Carmilla. Put some clothes on. You’re going.”

 

“Going? Where the fuck am I going?”

 

“Read it.”

 

Carmilla looked at the clipboard. “... _Now?_ You want me to go _now?_ Mattie, can you just give me one more night--”

 

“I HAVE GIVEN YOU TWO--”

 

“ _Mattie,_ there’s a girl in my bedroom, can you not shout about how we’re actually minor love goddesses?”

 

Mattie lowered her voice. “-- _two centuries,_ Millie. Don’t you think I’d like a night off too? I have been covering for you for too long. And don’t think Maman hasn’t noticed.”

 

“ _Ugh._ Maman. She’s the fucking goddess of love, can’t she do this herself?”

 

“You know her. She has too much to do to deal directly with mortals, blah blah blah…”

 

“Well, what? You want me to go to--” Carmilla frowned at the clipboard, reading the assignment, “ _Canada?_ You want me to pack up and go to fucking Canada right now?”

 

Mattie glared at her. “Millie, I have done more than enough of your work. Do you really think I care if you find this _inconvenient?”_

 

Carmilla ran a hand through her hair, huffing. “But I just picked up a girl…”

 

Mattie poked her head into the apartment, looking across the room, through the crack of the bedroom door. She appraised the naked woman lying in her sister’s bed.

 

“...I’ll tell her you are very sorry for having to run off suddenly,” Mattie answered, smirking, rubbing her hands, “don’t worry about _her,_ Carmilla, I think I can take care of _that._ ”

 

“Mattie, wait, are you seriously kicking me out in my bathrobe--”

 

A bag was thrown in her direction, containing, no doubt, Carmilla’s bow and quiver.

 

“ _Ta-ta,_ little sis!”

 

The door was slammed shut and Carmilla was left in the middle of the hallway, in nothing but a bathrobe, a clipboard containing information on two total strangers she was supposed to help, and a bag.

 

She sighed. “Goddammit Mattie,” she growled, turning with a sigh. First clothes, and then Canada.

* * *

 

The job of being a Cupid was much more likely to make someone _hate_ love far more than they appreciated it.

 

Carmilla hadn’t done it herself for awhile, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t done it hundreds of times. And it was always the same. Two arrows notched into a quiver, two quick shots, two eyes meeting across the room or a table or a park. Two people who fell in love.

 

All because of Carmilla, Maman’s bow and arrows, and forces beyond their control. There was nothing ‘romantic’ about falling in love because someone shot a magic arrow into your back.

 

But Carmilla wasn’t allowed to think like that. She was the daughter of Aphrodite, and her Maman gave her the clipboard, and the orders, and she was not in the business of questioning them.

 

So she sat on the plane to Canada, reading through the packet that contained all the information she needed on the current target and the object of her affections.

 

Name: Laura Hollis. Female. Nineteen years old. Freshman in college. Carmilla’s eyes lingered on the photo accompanying it. A round, pleasant face, brown eyes, welcoming smile. All in all, a very attractive teenage girl.

 

She shouldn’t be having a problem finding someone on her own. Why was Maman bringing Carmilla in on it?

 

She flipped the page, looking at who this Laura girl was supposed to be paired up with. Name: Danny Lawrence. Female. Carmilla lifted her head a little in understanding. So _there_ it was. Both of them were girls. Too nervous to make a move without a little push, probably. Carmilla kept reading.

  
Danny Lawrence was a junior in the same college Laura was attending. A lit major. And the TA for Laura’s english class.

 

“Gay, _and_ her teacher?” Carmilla said to herself, amused, “Maman must be looking forward to watching this play out.”

 

Danny was a redhead. Sharp cheekbones, bright blue eyes, tall... _much_ taller than Laura, by the looks of it. It made Carmilla chuckle a little.

 

Okay. All Carmilla had to do was shoot them both full of love arrows, and she’d be back on a plane to Paris. Where she could hopefully find another girl just as hot as the one Mattie had interrupted her time with.

 

“Let’s get this over with,” Carmilla muttered to herself, putting her headphones in. She listened to Jordin Sparks asking her why love has to be like a battlefield until she closed her eyes and fell asleep for the rest of the ride.

* * *

 

Carmilla had her jacket slung over her shoulder, her bag in her hand, dark eyes scanning the crowds as she walked through the quad. According to her file Laura and Danny were going out to eat pie at a little cafe on campus today. To ‘help Laura with her Beowulf paper’.

 

They were practically on a date already and they _still_ needed a Cupid to help them out. The thought made Carmilla hold back a snort.

 

She found a little cafe on campus with tables outside. And there they were. Laura, a good foot shorter than Danny, gesturing about something wildly. Danny looked at her with an amused smile.

 

“Okay,” Carmilla said to herself, “let’s get this over with.”

 

It was a common misconception that a Cupid has wings. At least for Carmilla.

 

The _jacket._ Her prized leather jacket, with a patch sewn on the back that read in big letters ‘I DON’T SHOOT STRAIGHT’. It was the jacket that had wings.

 

Carmilla swung the leather jacket over her shoulders, pulling it on. Its magic was two fold; it also made her invisible to mortals. Then, two wings--with feathers, pitch black--erupted from the back.

 

She jumped into the air, wings flapping, landing on the roof of the cafe. If she stood near the edge, she had a good shot at the table the two girls were sitting at. Carmilla cracked her knuckles, reaching into her bag.

 

“Alright, bow,” Carmilla pulled out her bow. It was simple wood, hearts and swirls carved into it. “And arrows...arrows…”

 

Carmilla pulled one out. Notched it into the bow. Bit her lip as she focused on her target.

 

It’d been awhile, but Carmilla had done it enough that she hadn’t forgotten. Making people fall in love was like riding a bike to her. Back straight. Hand on anchor point. Eyes on target.

 

She let go of the arrow and it sailed straight into Danny’s back. Carmilla saw her breath hitch and her eyes widen.

 

That feeling when people realize they’re in love? The shock, the butterflies, the jolt? What people didn’t realize was that they were _shot in the back._

 

Carmilla leaned in a little closer, careful not to lose her balance and fall off the roof.

 

Danny was leaning in. Smiling widely. Her posture went from being amused by her companion to something much, much more.

 

“Bingo,” Carmilla breathed out, “now to get the other one out of the way.”

 

She reached blindly for another arrow, rushing. It looked like they were getting up.

 

“Arrow...arrow... _shit!”_

 

Carmilla winced when she nicked her finger on the point of her last arrow. She dropped it and heard it break as it hit the concrete roof.

 

And was still staring at Laura as she walked away with Danny.

 

Her heart started pounding in her ears. Her stomach did flip flops. There was Laura. Who was suddenly the most beautiful woman Carmilla had ever laid her eyes on. Walking away with the person that was supposed to be the love of her life.

 

Except, because Carmilla had to be an _idiot,_ and now Laura was the love of _her_ life.

 

Carmilla watched Laura walk away with Danny, both of them smiling softly at each other.

 

“Well _fuck_.”

* * *

 

The first thing she did was sit down in her hotel room, fighting the pull of the arrow’s magic every step of the way. She didn’t want to walk away from Laura. She didn’t want to let her walk away and probably fall in love with that gargantuan redhead.  But she also couldn’t stop smiling when she was thinking about anything that had anything to do with Laura.

 

But Carmilla knew it wasn’t _real._ This bullshit love-at-first-sight was never real. It was magic. Carmilla had the cut on her finger from where it met the arrowhead to remind her of that. She’d never spoken to Laura, barely heard her voice from the roof, and would probably hate her anyway as she did most other mortals.

 

So what if she had gorgeous brown hair with natural blonde highlights? So what if the quick glimpse of her smile Carmilla caught was absolutely blinding? So what if her skin was flawless and…

 

“Calm yourself Carmilla,” she growled to herself, flopping on the bed, “she is off limits. Besides you shot her so she’d be head over heels for--”

 

She sat up suddenly in bed.

 

The arrow.

 

Carmilla dropped the arrow.

 

She’d shot Danny, but she never hit Laura.

 

“What am I going to do now?” Carmilla groaned.

 

Part of her was relieved. She didn’t want Laura to fall in love with Danny. No one was good enough for Laura, she was beautiful and perfect--

 

Carmilla shook her head vigorously, trying to keep her thoughts focused. It’d been so long since she’d done a job that those were her last two arrows. She’d have to go to her mother if she wanted to get more.

 

There was _no way_ Carmilla was going to go to her mother. She didn’t exactly take screw ups well. Especially when she would inevitably figure out that Carmilla had accidentally pumped herself full of love magic. The goddess of love could tell those kinds of things.

 

That would mean a lecture, and probably a grounding. No more home in Paris and a different girl in her bed every night for a few centuries at least.

 

(Not that she wanted any women in her bed at the moment but Laura…)

 

And she couldn’t just leave a job half finished. If Laura didn’t end up falling for Danny, Maman would find out then, too.

 

Carmilla was on her own.

 

Arrows weren’t the only way of making people fall in love. Love happened without arrows all the time. It was slower and messier, but...it could happen.

 

She cracked her knuckles. If she wanted to get this job done, it looked like she’d have to do it the hard way.

 

Which meant reading through Laura’s file again. Purely to cover her ass. Not because she kind of sort of wanted to know absolutely everything about her. Not at all.

* * *

She spent the rest of the night pouring over Laura’s information. Usually Carmilla only skimmed it for the basic details. But now she read _everything._ Laura’s favorite color was yellow. Her favorite show was _Doctor Who_. She was good at Krav Maga. She once broke a bone jumping off a slide because she was pretending to be Batgirl.

 

Laura seemed like the biggest dork on the planet. Totally not her type at all.

 

God, she wanted to see her again. So, _so_ badly.

 

Carmilla grit her teeth, jamming her hands into the pockets of her jeans, staring down at the ground as she walked down the sidewalk. Danny’s file had her current address. And if she was going to try and get Laura to fall for Danny the hard way, that meant making sure Danny didn’t screw things up.

 

She took a deep breath when she stood in front of the door to Danny’s apartment. Just knock on the door. Just knock on the door and--what? Introduce herself? ‘Hey, I’m Carmilla. I’m the daughter of a love goddess and I’m here to help you get laid--’

 

The door opened and Carmilla was staring up at Danny, dressed in short red running shorts and a blue tank top, hair in a loose ponytail.

 

“...Um, hey. Can I help you?”

 

“Well,” Carmilla cleared her throat. “I...am here to help you get laid?”

 

Danny narrowed her eyes at Carmilla. “Oooookay. I think I’m going to go for a run now--”

 

“Wait!” Carmilla exclaimed as Danny pushed past her, “I know how to help you win over Laura Hollis!”

 

Danny froze. She turned around. “How do you know Laura? Are you in a class with her or something?”

 

“No. But I know you know her. Let me guess--you can’t stop thinking about her?”

 

“You are being really weird right now.”

 

“But you have feelings for her, don’t you?”

 

Danny’s mouth opened slightly as she stared at Carmilla, obviously disturbed. “How. Do you know. Laura.”

 

“I told you, I don’t, not personally--”

 

“Then explain why I shouldn’t leave and possibly call the cops because some goth chick might be stalking me?”

 

“Because--okay. Look. I know this is going to sound insane,” Carmilla stepped closer, lowering her voice, “but I am the reason you realized you have feelings for Laura yesterday. And I am going to make sure you get your girl.”

 

“...Like what, my fairy godmother or something…?”

 

“Fuck no, I’m a Cupid.”

 

“And you sound extremely sane right now.”

 

Carmilla looked to her left, and then her right. “I did not want to have to do this, but...here.”

 

She pulled on the jacket she had tied around her waist and disappeared from sight.

 

“WHAT THE HELL WHERE DID YOU GO?”

 

Carmilla pulled it off, grinning. “Magic jacket. Still think I’m insane?”

 

Danny had to literally push her jaw closed. “Yes. But now I think _I’m_ insane too.”

 

Without another word, Danny grabbed Carmilla by the wrist, pulling her roughly into her apartment and closing the door.

 

“Okay. Start at the beginning.”

 

Carmilla looked around. It was a shitty apartment afforded on a broke college lit TA’s pay, and she settled for sitting on a very saggy couch. She tied the jacket back around her waist as she walked toward it.

 

“Well, I got my sister to do my work for me so I could spent two centuries on a sex and champagne fueled bender in Paris--”

 

Danny wrinkled her nose. “Okay, _nevermind._ Can you please skip to the part where Laura and I come in?”

 

“The _boring_ part,” Carmilla sighed, sitting down on the couch, “okay.”

 

She relayed the events of yesterday afternoon to Danny. She stopped when she got to the arrow part. Probably not smart to mention the fact that Carmilla was kind-of-sort-of-extremely in love with Laura too.

 

“...I dropped the arrow I meant to use on Laura and it broke. So yeah. You’re definitely in love with her but she’s not necessarily on-board yet.”

 

Danny bit her lip, letting the information sink in. She finally asked:

 

“Can’t you just use another arrow on Laura?”

 

“So you believe me?”

 

Danny crossed her arms. “I mean, I’m not saying I do, but...hypothetically, _if_ you did not belong in a straitjacket, couldn’t you?”

 

“No. That was my last arrow.”

 

“Well there must be a way to get more--”

 

“That would mean having to ask my mother. And having to tell my mother I screwed up--”

 

(And fell in love with a client because she was so stupid she shot _herself_ )

 

“--would not be pleasant.”

 

“You mean to tell me,” Danny said, walking toward Carmilla and throwing her hands in the air, “that you shot me to make me fall in love with Laura, and now I might not be able to win the love of my life because _you’re embarrassed to ask your mommy for help?”_

 

“She’ll ground me,” Carmilla grumbled, sinking into the couch, “I don’t want to be grounded. Seriously. Olympus is _boring.”_

 

“This is fantastic,” Danny groaned, sitting down next to Carmilla--with as much space between them as she could, of course. She looked at Carmilla. “Well?”

 

“What?”

 

“It’s your fault I’m in love with her and she might not love me back, it’s your job to fix it! Isn’t that why you showed up?”

 

“I’m not sure I like your tone, Red--”

 

“I don’t really care. Are you going to help me or not?”

 

Carmilla really, _really_ didn’t. And Danny’s attitude wasn’t helping. But Carmilla reminded herself--it was the arrow talking. The best way to get over a woman was to get under another, and she could get under plenty of girls once she finished this job.

 

“Okay, while love magic is a lot easier,” Carmilla said, “it is entirely possible to get Laura to fall in love with you without it. The process will be slower, but you just need to convince Laura you’re her dream woman.”

 

“And how do we do that?”

 

Carmilla stood up, giving Danny a once over. “Eh. It can’t be _that_ hard. You’re hot. In good shape. Not a bad catch if you’re into the whole moral human being kind of thing. What, you’ve never had to get a girl to like you before?”

 

Danny bit her lip, running a hand through her hair. “I’ve gotten plenty of girls. But I’ve never--you know, felt like _this_ before,” Danny narrowed her eyes at Carmilla, “thank you for that. But now it feels like whenever I think about Laura--”

 

“Mind turns to mush? Don’t know what to say? Overthink _everything?”_

 

“Yes, exactly!”

 

“Well, that’s why I’m here. I’m a minor love goddess--I’ll walk you through it.”

 

Danny looked suspicious, but hopeful. She bit her lip and looked down at the floor.

 

“...Have you had to do this before?”

 

“Um. Well. I’ve never run out of arrows so it’s never come up so…”

 

Danny looked like she was about to snap at Carmilla again, until they both heard a ringing noise. Then her eyes went wide.

 

“Oh my God that’s Laura’s ringtone what do I do I don’t know what to say--”

 

“ _Jesus,_ didn’t you talk to her before yesterday? And--did you seriously set Laura’s ringtone as _‘Uptown Girl’_?”  

 

“It’s not my fault you shot me full of love magic!”

 

Carmilla rolled her eyes. “Just _answer the damn phone._ And put it on speaker!”

 

Danny ran to the kitchen table, fumbling with her cellphone.

 

“ _Heeeeey,_ Laura! What’s up?”

 

God, Carmilla was never going to get through this.

 

And then Laura’s voice.

 

_“Hey, Danny! I just had a question about that paper on Jane Austen due next week. How many sources did we need again?”_

 

Carmilla’s breath hitched. Laura’s voice. She had a beautiful voice. One that made butterflies appear in her stomach. She squirmed uncomfortably on the couch, trying to force her face not to turn red.

 

“Uh...just three. It’s a short paper.”

 

_“Cool, thanks!”_

 

“No problem, see you--”

 

Danny was looking at Carmilla, and Carmilla started shaking her head, waving her hands. _No. DON’T LET HER HANG UP YOU IDIOT._

 

“--UH, but before you go,” Danny continued. Carmilla nodded. She made a ‘go on’ motion with her hands. “would you maybe want to go out--”

 

Carmilla pointed at herself. Danny looked confused but continued, “--with my friend…?”

 

She face palmed. Dear god, why did being in love make mortals so stupid?

 

 _“...Your friend wants to go on a date with me?”_ Laura asked, obviously confused and, to Carmilla’s displeasure, disappointed.

 

Yes, Carmilla did want to go on a date with Laura. Very begrudgingly, Carmilla motioned between them until Danny understood.

 

“Uh, no! With my friend _and I._ With the two of us. To hang out? She’s--she’s new, doesn’t really know anyone, and I thought I’d show her around.”

 

“ _Oh,”_ Laura sounded less confused, voice perking up a little. _“Sure, I guess that sounds fun. There’s a party at my dorm tonight. Would you maybe like to meet me there? At like, seven?”_

 

“Great! Seven! It’s a date. I mean, you know, a date to hang out.”

 

_“Sure.”_

 

“See you!” Danny was grinning ear to ear as she hung up, humming contentedly as she walked over to Carmilla. “Any reason you needed to come…?”

 

“I’m going to be there to make sure you don’t screw anything up,” Carmilla answered, standing, “I am your wingwoman.”

 

Danny frowned. “I don’t know if I like that you seem to think I’ll screw things up without you breathing down my neck--”

 

“If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t have even _gotten_ invited to that party, Danny. Don’t even.”

 

“...What is your name, anyway?”

 

“Carmilla.”

 

Danny stepped forward and held out her hand. “Then I guess I have to thank you...Carmilla. Danny Lawrence.”

 

Carmilla held her hand out and shook Danny’s. “I knew that, but cool.”

 

For a moment they shook hands until Danny sucked in a breath. “Oh my God, I’m meeting Laura tonight! I can’t show up in my running clothes! I need to figure out what to wear--do you think I should dress up? But it’s just a dorm party, I don’t want to overdress...but I’m also trying to impress Laura--”

 

Carmilla rolled her eyes. This was going to be a long night.

* * *

 

“I still cannot believe you wore that,” Carmilla hissed to Danny.

 

“You told me Laura’s favorite color was yellow!”

 

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you need to _blind_ her with it. Yellow pants? Seriously?”

 

Danny rubbed her hands along her thighs as they walked toward Laura’s dorm building. “I like these pants. Besides, I have great legs. Why shouldn’t I want to bring attention to them?”

 

Carmilla rolled her eyes. It was objectively true though. Danny could pull off bright pants.

 

“And what about you?” Danny continued. “A corset? Really? And your pants look like they were spraypainted on. I thought we were trying to get Laura to fall in love with _me._ ”

 

Carmilla flipped her hair back. “I have my reasons for dressing like this.”

 

“You’re not trying to steal Laura, are you?”

 

Carmilla panicked for a few seconds, until she could tell from Danny’s smirk that she was kidding. Carmilla forced a snort.

 

“Ha. Yeah right. As if _I_ couldn’t get girls ten times as hot as her.”

 

“Yeah, but Laura has so many other awesome qualities besides being pretty…” Danny smiled softly to herself, a blush starting to appear on her cheeks.

 

Carmilla elbowed Danny in the side. “Stay focused!”

 

“Ow! And you still didn’t answer my question!”

 

Carmilla shrugged. “It’s _strategic,_ Danny. You show up to the party with me, your friend. I’m in my skintight clothes, leather, and hot red lipstick. I _ooze_ sex appeal. You are the clean-cut girl wearing your collared shirt and yellow pants. If Laura contrasts you with me, you are going to look even more like wife material. And if Laura is going to fall in love with you, she needs to see you as wife material.”

 

Danny ran a hand through her hair, biting her lip. “I’m nervous. Is it weird to be nervous? I know Laura at least _likes_ me. But I know I like her way more.”

 

Carmilla swallowed. “Believe me, it’s okay to be nervous.”

 

They stopped at the door of the building.

 

“Here we are,” Danny said, “Laura’s dorm building. Crowley Hall.” She looked at Carmilla. “Thanks Carmilla. Let’s do this?”

 

Carmilla nodded. “Let’s do this.”

 

Danny knocked on the door three times. After a moment it opened and a young woman with curly red hair and a polo shirt greeted them.

 

“Danny, hello!”

 

“Uh, hey Perry.”

 

“How are you--” Perry looked at Carmilla. Her mouth opened a little. “--and I see you brought a...friend.”

 

“Carmilla,” she supplied, raising a hand in greeting, “sup.”

 

“She’s new here,” Danny added, “I thought I’d take her to the party. You know. Meet new people.”

 

“Well she certainly doesn’t look like she’s...shy.”

 

“Damn straight,” Carmilla answered dryly, grabbing Danny and dragging her through the door.

 

“Laura is in the common room!” Perry called after them.

 

“Thanks!” Danny shouted back, following Carmilla down the hallway. “Oh man, Laura and I have always talked about assignments. We’ve never talked about things that didn’t have to do with class. I mean, we _have,_ but it was always while we were together talking about class things--”

 

“Just be yourself, you’re great the way you are, blah blah blah,” Carmilla grunted, “let’s go.”

 

Their feet hit shag carpet as they entered a small room. People were draping themselves over various couches and armchairs, arranged in a semicircle and facing a flat screen TV mounted on the wall.

 

“This is a lame party,” Carmilla whispered to Danny.

 

“Perry organized it, I think,” Danny answered, “she keeps them pretty low-key. I’ve gone before. Not as bad as it looks--hey, Laura!”

 

Carmilla looked in the direction where Danny was waving. Laura had her back turned to them. When she looked back, she was frowning. As soon as she saw Danny, her expression changed to a smile.

 

“Hey, Danny!” Laura walked over.

 

“Hey, Laura,” Danny said, grinning back at her. Laura took notice of Carmilla.

 

“Is this your friend?”

 

“Yeah. This is Carmilla. Carmilla, meet Laura. Laura, meet Carmilla.”

 

Carmilla froze.

 

Before the whole in love thing was merely an annoyance. She thought about how pretty Laura was constantly and this whole helping Danny thing made her grind her teeth in annoyance.

 

It was an entirely different thing to be standing a few feet away from Laura--to get a close up of her eyes and her smile and the light dusting of freckles she never noticed before--

 

“Uh, Carmilla? Hello?”

 

She snapped out of her Laura Hollis induced trance and managed to grit out, “hi.”

 

Laura was wearing a shirt with kittens on it. And a black sweater with bunnies. _Bunnies._ It looked like a zoo had exploded in her closet. She looked so stupid. So, so stupid.

 

 _God,_ she was adorable. So, so adorable--

 

“--so Carmilla thought it’d be nice to come down and mingle, you know?”

 

At mention of her name Carmilla broke out of her trance a second time. Laura smiled at Carmilla--which of course made her feel lightheaded--before answering: “Well, it’s cool to meet you Carmilla!”

 

“Thanks,” Carmilla said coolly, “nice to meet you too, I guess.”

 

“So…” Danny looked between them, “how about we all sit down and talk?”

 

“Sure!” Laura answered, looking around the room, “I think there’s a couch open over there.”

 

The three of them sat down; despite every fiber of her being wanting to sit between them, Carmilla let Laura sit next to Danny while she sat on the other side.

 

“Actually, I’m going to go get us all drinks,” Laura said, getting up, “when I get back, you need to tell me how you guys know each other!”

 

Danny and Carmilla stared at each other.

 

“Uh…”

 

“Well…”

 

Laura walked away to get drinks. Carmilla moved closer to Danny.

 

“Quick, how did I know you?”

 

“Fuck if I know!”   


“How do you not think of this Carmilla? I thought you had a plan!”

 

“My ‘plan’ was to make sure you didn’t say anything stupid.”

 

“How long have we been friends? How _did_ we meet? What am I supposed to tell Laura? We’re going to mess _something_ up if she starts asking us questions!”

 

“Leave it to me,” Carmilla said, gears turning in her head. Laura walked back in, carrying three beer cans.

 

“Here you go guys!” She exclaimed. She sat next to Danny again. “So Carmilla, how do you know Danny--”

 

“We dated for a few months in high school,” Carmilla blurted out.

 

Danny looked like she wanted to murder her.

 

Carmilla felt like she might not mind at this point.

 

Laura’s smile looked like someone cut and pasted it onto her face.

 

“You...dated Danny?”

 

“Yeah. We broke up before I left to, uh...study abroad. Right, Danny?”

 

Her face had turned completely scarlet. But she nodded with a quick jerk of the head.

 

“I almost forgot, it was _years_ ago, but...yeah. We...dated.”

 

Laura looked back and forth between them. “Oh. Wow. Um, it’s nice that you guys decided to stay friends?”

 

“We’re _much_ better as friends,” Danny added, “like, _way_ better. It was a horrible relationship. Totally incompatible.”

 

“Which is too bad, because Danny was a fantastic girlfriend,” Carmilla added, raising an eyebrow at Danny, “she’s smart and...and sensitive, and shit.”

 

“I was a way better girlfriend than Carmilla,” Danny added, “she’s so emotionally damaged she’s incapable of feeling anything.”

 

“You weren’t complaining during all the fantastic sex though,” Carmilla snapped defensively.

 

Danny crushed her can so hard, beer spilled out and splashed on her shirt.

 

“ _Shit._ Uh, sorry Laura,” Danny said, standing, “I’m going to go use the bathroom and clean myself up. I’ll be back in a minute, okay?”

 

“Take your time…” Laura said, looking between them uneasily.

 

Danny made an ‘I’m watching you’ motion at Carmilla before walking away to find a bathroom.

 

Carmilla hated to see Laura look so uncomfortable. Maybe she didn’t need to be such a dick--

 

God, she was making Carmilla want to be a better person. She really _did_ have it bad, didn’t she?

 

“Hey,” Carmilla said, “sorry for that.”

 

“No, it’s fine,” Laura answered, watching Danny walk off, “I’m just surprised you’re Danny’s type.”

 

“What? _Naw._ She dumped me for a reason. She’s more into nerds.”

 

“Nerds?”

 

“Preferably nerds who like Doctor Who, Harry Potter...you know, all of that pop culture stuff.”

 

A big smile spread across Laura’s face. “I didn’t know Danny liked that too.”

 

Note to self: make sure Danny knew she needed to become a pop culture expert ASAP. Carmilla nodded. “People surprise you, don’t they?”

 

“I mean, I already knew Danny was smart and into books and really cool--” Laura blushed as her stomach growled. “And, um, I’m going to check the vending machine again.”

 

“Again?”

 

“Yeah,” Laura got up and Carmilla followed. “I put a dollar in to buy a pack of cupcakes--but they got stuck, see?”

 

Laura pointed at the pack, stuck in the vending machine. “Look! That has to be the saddest thing I have ever seen. Standing precariously over the edge, yet just out of reach…”

 

She pouted, and Carmilla couldn’t help but laugh. “Here, let me help, Cupcake.”

 

Carmilla walked up to the vending machine. She rubbed her hands together and banged the side of the vending machine three times. The pack fell with a _thump._

 

“THANK YOU SO MUCH,” Laura exclaimed, “want a cupcake in return for helping me out?”

 

She tore open the pack, holding one out to Carmilla, who took it.

 

“Thanks.” She tore into it, making Laura chuckle.

 

“Uh, Carmilla, you have some icing kind of...everywhere.”

 

“Hm? Oh,” she wiped her face with the back of her hand. Laura wrinkled her nose.

 

“Wow, you are a slob, aren’t you?”

 

“That’s another thing about Danny. She’s the opposite of a slob. She’s _very_ clean.”

 

“Then why did she date you at all?”

 

Carmilla looked down at herself pointedly and winked.

 

“ _Ew,_ okay, I see you’ve got an ego too.”

 

“Not an ego if you really _are_ this hot, sweetheart.”

 

Laura looked annoyed. Good. The less Laura liked her, the easier it would be for Carmilla to get over her eventually.

 

But then Laura took a sip of her beer in between munching on her sweets. “ _Ugh._ Why are we willing to break the law so that we can drink cheap, disgusting beer?”

 

Carmilla shrugged. “I don’t know. They served champagne at the first party I ever attended.”

 

And nectar, and ambrosia, but she really didn’t think she should go into the whole Mount Olympus thing.

 

“That sounds like a swanky party,” Laura answered.

 

“It was alright,” Carmilla leaned against the wall. Laura was standing close enough to her that she could see the flecks of gold in her eyes. She bit her lip and willed her heartbeat to slow down.

 

“Hey, frosh!”

 

A short woman with an equally short red haircut (why was everyone a ginger?) walked toward them.

 

“LaF! Carmilla, this is my friend LaFontaine. LaF, this is Carmilla. She’s friends with Danny and she just started here, apparently.”

 

“‘Sup,” LaFontaine said, looking at her. She pointed to a beanie she was wearing. _They/them._ Carmilla made a mental note of it. “These are my pronouns. Nice to meet you.”

 

“Uh, sure,” Carmilla said, regarding them with a curt nod.

 

LaFontaine took off their hat, running a hand through their hair. “Have you seen Perry?”

 

“She was greeting people at the door. You didn’t see her?”

 

LaFontaine frowned. “She probably saw me through the window and tried to avoid me,” they said, “I’m going to go look for her.”

 

“Maybe she’s helping Danny? Danny spilled beer on her shirt.”

 

“Yeah...that’s probably it…”

 

Perry chose to walk into the room in that moment, carrying a tray. “Hey everyone, I made brownies for--oh,” her smile faltered slightly, “hello, Sus--LaFontaine.”

 

“Um, hey Perr.”

 

LaFontaine flashed a lopsided smile at Laura and Carmilla before walking over to speak in hushed tones. Carmilla raised an eyebrow.

 

“What is their problem? Both of them, I mean.”

 

Laura chewed her lip. “LaFontaine and Perry have been friends since they were kids. And...you know, Perry isn’t a terrible person, she just has a hard time adjusting to LaF coming out.”

 

“Ah.”

 

“They’ve been weird for a couple of weeks.”

 

Carmilla tilted her head slightly as she watched them talk. The way LaFontaine leaned into Perry’s space and gently touched her arm. The way Perry looked at them softly before averting her gaze. Perry walked briskly out of the room, LaFontaine sighing before following with a shake of their head.

 

“Eh, they’re pretty obviously in love,” Carmilla said. Laura looked at her.

 

“You think so?”

 

She’d seen people fall in love so many times, the signs were second nature. “What, it’s not obvious?”

 

Laura grinned. “Yeah. I wish _they_ both saw how obvious it was though. I just wish my friends would stop fighting…”

 

Her face fell again, and Carmilla could feel her own mood become worse. No one should make Laura upset. She had the strange urge to grab Perry and shake her until she skipped off with LaFontaine into the sunset.

 

Over Laura’s shoulder, Carmilla could see Danny returning. “Anyway, though, you should talk with my friend Danny. She told me she thinks you’re cute.”

 

Laura blushed. “Danny thinks I’m cute…?”

 

Carmilla couldn’t look Laura in the eye as she grumbled, “yes. And she totally loves Harry Potter.”

 

“Hey guys!” Danny exclaimed, “hey, Laura. How are you?”

 

Laura turned her attention on Danny immediately. Maybe this wouldn’t be as hard as Carmilla thought. Laura was already starting to form a crush on the Jolly Red Giant.

 

Which was great. _Wonderful._

 

“I’m doing really good. Carmilla just helped me get this pack of sweets unstuck from the vending machine!”

 

“Cool,” someone was turning up music, and Danny spoke to be heard over them, “want to go somewhere and talk?”

 

“Sure! Carmilla told me you like Harry Potter. Which book is your favorite? Mine’s the fourth! We can go to my room if it’s too loud.”

 

Danny’s smile widened. “That sounds great. Carmilla, are you going to be okay here?”

 

Logically, it wouldn’t kill her, so Carmilla said “Have fun.”

 

“Nice to meet you, Carmilla!” Laura said, putting a hand lightly on Carmilla’s shoulder for a brief second before focusing on Danny again.

 

But it sure felt like it was killing her when Laura and Danny walked away.

 

She saw Perry walk into the room again. Without LaFontaine. Carmilla tried to remain apathetic but, ultimately, failed.

 

Stupid arrow magic.

 

“Hey, Perry Crocker!”

 

She was sitting on the couch, eating a brownie. She looked up with half of it broken off in her mouth.

 

“Hmm? Oh,” she swallowed, “you’re the girl Danny brought. Carmilla, right?”

 

“You’re an idiot,” Carmilla said, standing in front of her, “and you’re going to lose the best person in your life if you keep it up.”

 

From the look on her face, Carmilla wasn’t sure the direct approach was necessarily the best. In fact, she had basically no idea what she was doing. She didn’t have a file on Perry and LaFontaine. She wasn’t that good at talking about feelings in general; she had the arrows for that.

 

But as soon as Laura had said she wanted them to stop fighting, Carmilla had to at least _try._

 

“I’m sorry, but I don’t even know you,” Perry answered.

 

“I don’t need to know either of you that well to know your friend is pretty obviously in love with you.”

 

Perry’s face flushed. “ _In_ love? I mean...I love LaFontaine, but I never thought...that’s ridiculous--”

 

“You’ve done nothing but make them feel like shit for weeks, and they’re still trying to talk to you. What does that tell you?”

 

Perry sputtered. “I--well--how much did Laura tell you about us? Really? I just--the nerve--”

 

But she sank back into the couch, putting another brownie in her mouth, and Carmilla thought that at the very least, she gave her something to think about. Carmilla sank back into the background and tried to focus on her warm beer and not whatever Danny and Laura were probably doing in that bedroom.

* * *

 

According to Danny, there was no way the ‘best wingwoman ever’ was going to sleep at some hotel. Which was how Carmilla got pushed from a nice big hotel bed to Danny’s couch.

 

“It was _fantastic,”_ Danny said, repeating the story she told Carmilla at least three times on their way back from the party, “we went to Laura’s room and talked about Harry Potter, and then we watched _Agent Carter_ on her laptop, and after we did that for awhile, she said she had a really nice time--”

 

“Yeah, and then you didn’t seal the deal,” Carmilla answered, removing the cushions from Danny’s couch to make a suitable bed, “you’re telling me you were in there for _hours_ and you didn’t make a move?”

 

“I’m taking things slow, Carmilla,” Danny answered, “I’m not going to rush anything and scare Laura off.”

 

“You can’t _scare her off._ She already has a huge crush on you. It’s pretty obvious.”

 

“...You think so?”

 

“God, Danny, of course. I told her you thought she was cute and her face turned about the same shade as your hair.”

 

“Seriously?” Danny grinned. Carmilla rolled her eyes.

 

“ _Yes._ God you are so freaking sappy I want to puke. But the longer you ‘take things slow’, the longer it takes for me to get on a flight back to Paris. So please just _ask her out._ ”

 

Danny bit her lip. “I guess...coffee is casual enough, right?”

 

“I _don’t care_ , just pick something.”

 

Carmilla grabbed a blanket, pulling it over her head. She was tired of talking about it. She was tired of Danny going on and on about how cute Laura was and how they had so much in common. _She_ was the one that should be hanging out with Laura in her room, watching TV. And probably a lot more, if it had been her. Laura was wasted on Danny.

 

She could still feel her shoulder tingling from where Laura had touched it for a fraction of a second.

 

“Well okay, Valentine, I’ll leave you here to brood...and thanks again--”

 

Danny’s phone notified that she got a text; she looked at it and gave a little squeak of surprise.

 

“She texted me. Texting someone late at night is a good sign, right?”

 

“Read it and see.”

 

Danny read the text. “‘Danny, I had a really nice time talking to you. Want to meet for hot chocolate tomorrow?’ Aw, she drinks hot chocolate instead of coffee. That’s sweet.”

 

“Adorable,” Carmilla said, rolling her eyes and secretly agreeing with her.

 

“What should I reply?”

 

“Uh...yes? It’s not rocket science. It’s spelled ‘y-e-s’.”

 

“Haha. Okay, I’m replying ‘sure, text me a time tomorrow morning. Can’t wait.’”

 

“Pure poetry, Danny,” Carmilla answered, “now let me go to bed. Also, you might want to break out Netflix. I told her you love Doctor Who.”

 

“But I’ve never watched Doctor Who?”

 

“If I were you I’d start on the tenth guy, he’s Laura’s favorite according to her file.”

 

She heard Danny stomp off; Carmilla tried to close her eyes. But when she closed them all she saw was Laura smiling at her, telling her she had a huge goddamn ego. How the hell do you fall _more_ in love with someone after they insulted you?

 

Helping Danny was torture. But, in a strange way, it was also why Carmilla _had_ to help Danny out.

 

Because Carmilla forced Danny to fall in love with Laura. And one of them deserved to have the person they loved love them back. And honestly, which one of them actually had a chance? Definitely not her.

* * *

 

Danny woke Carmilla up that morning with bags under her eyes, a favorable review of Doctor Who, and a text from Laura telling her to meet for hot chocolate that afternoon.

 

Which of course led to Carmilla having to painstakingly go through Danny’s wardrobe to find the perfect date outfit. And quiz Danny on conversational topics. But honestly, she had this. All Danny had to do was not be a complete spazz and she’d be alright.

 

“Let’s hope this goes well,” Danny said, hugging Carmilla, “thanks again. You’re a jerk, but you’ve helped me and I won’t forget that.”

 

“Uh...no problem,” Carmilla answered, limp and awkward in her arms. “I’m going to go take a walk around campus.”

 

And, with her jacket once again tied around her waist and hands shoved in her pockets, Carmilla went for her walk. It was autumn, and when she took a moment to admire the changing leaves and crisp air, it almost helped her aching heart. Almost.

 

She knew she could get over Laura eventually. People fell out of love all the time. It was messy and took a long time, but...not even her mother’s magic was incurable. Even if getting over it felt like an addict going through detox.

 

Maybe she’d put her jacket on and listen in on a class. Sometimes the philosophy lectures could be interesting. And the greek mythology classes were freaking _hilarious_ \--

 

“Carmilla?”

 

_Keep walking keep walking keep walking…_

 

“Carmilla!”

 

_Just ignore her she’ll go away don’t think about how you’re probably hurting her feelings--_

 

“Hey!”

 

A hand on Carmilla’s shoulder, and she spun around so she was face to face with Laura.

 

“It’s me, Laura. From the party last night, remember?”

 

Of course Carmilla did.

 

“...Oh. Right. Sorry. I met a _lot_ of girls at that party.”

 

She wiggled her eyebrows for effect. Laura looked annoyed. Good; the less Laura liked her, the easier this would be.

 

“Ew, I can’t believe Danny ever dated you.”

 

“Well, it wasn’t that long. One might say it doesn’t even count.”

 

“Well, whatever the reason, you’re Danny’s friend,” Laura answered, “so I thought I’d talk to you. Walking to class? I’ll walk with you. Come on.”

 

She said it so quickly and matter-of-factly Carmilla didn’t even have time to say no before Laura fell into step next to her. Her outfit was even more ridiculous than the day before, a maroon colored long sleeved shirt with a sleeveless owl sweater pulled over it. It was adorable. Carmilla tried not to blush, choosing to stare resolutely ahead.

 

“If you think I’m gross, and I have a huge ego, why do you want to walk with me?”

 

“Because you’re Danny’s friend?”

 

Carmilla rolled her eyes.

 

“...And also, LaFontaine wanted me to talk to you. What did you say to Perry last night…?”

 

“I may have made some observations...”

 

Laura tilted her head. “Was one of them that LaF was ‘obviously in love with her?’”

 

“...Look, if they want an apology, they’ve got another--”

 

“They don’t. Perry actually sat down and talked to them about their pronouns. And LaF totally denied being in love with her ‘cause they’re a chicken. But all in all, it was good.”

 

“Wait. Seriously? All I did was scream that Perry was a jerk and LaF had the hots for her.”

 

“Whatever you did helped,” Laura answered, smiling, “so thank you.”

 

She bit her lip, looking like she wanted to say something else.

 

“Anything else on your mind, Cupcake…?”

 

“No, no. Okay, yes,” Laura smiled sheepishly, “I was kind of sort of hoping I could get some advice for my date with Danny? Since I have no idea what I’m doing?”

 

 _There._ There it was. Now Laura was asking her for advice on dating Danny, too.

 

She had no idea what her breaking point was with this whole thing, but that was it. It was bad enough helping Danny, but helping the one Carmilla was obsessed with directly? No.

 

“If you want to seduce Danny, do it yourself,” Carmilla snapped, “I have better things to do than to help some random annoying girl with dating advice.”

 

She picked up her pace, pushing ahead of Laura.

 

“Carmilla, wait! _Please!_ I’m...really sorry, okay?”

 

She wanted to keep going. That would have been the smart thing. But Laura sounded genuinely hurt. And the sound of Laura upset was something she _never_ wanted to hear again.

 

Carmilla took a few more steps forward, and then stopped.

 

“...Yes?”

 

“Look, I know that this must be kind of tactless,” Laura said, “to ask for advice on dating your ex.”

 

Carmilla fought not to laugh.

 

“I’m just really nervous and clueless,” Laura rambled on, “I mean I’ve had crushes and things before and I always manage to screw things up before they go anywhere. They always think I’m too weird or annoying or I talk too much--”

 

“You mean like you’re doing now?”

 

“--but I swear I don’t talk too much usually I just get nervous--aaaaaand I’ll stop now.”

 

Carmilla couldn’t help smiling. “I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit, Cupcake. There’s something _appealing_ about that sort of thing.”

 

“Yeah right,” Laura grumbled.

 

“I’m serious. You’re honest. An open book. Some girls like that,” Carmilla added hastily, “I know _Danny_ does.”

 

Laura squinted at Carmilla. “You know, I really can’t figure you out.”

 

“Oh really?”

 

“Yeah. One second I think you’re really gross and, like, a total raging bad person. The next you’re saying really nice things about me and helping my best friends .” She put a finger to her chin in thought. “Just who _is_ Carmilla?”

 

Carmilla didn’t even try to stop the heat spreading across her face. “Well,” she managed to say, “I have to keep my air of mystery don’t I?”

 

“Maybe,” Laura answered, “but I’ve had over three weeks of a journalism class and I’ve watched _all_ of Veronica Mars. I think I’ll try and figure it out.”

 

She looked away from Carmilla for a moment. “Oh, and this is my stop. I have to be at journalism right now. See you, Carmilla!”

 

“See you. And hey--if you see LaFontaine, tell them ‘Carmilla says Perry is obviously in love with them too and they need to person up and ask Curly out on a date’.”

 

“Noted!”

 

Laura flounced away, all sunshine and rainbows and smiles. Carmilla sighed. Pulled her jacket from her waist, wrapping it around her shoulders. She really needed to be invisible for awhile.

* * *

 

Carmilla was too emotionally drained with Laura to do more than send Danny off on the date with a ‘good luck’. She hoped Danny did well. But also hoped it was a miserable failure. She mostly tried not to think about it in favor of laying on the couch with a can of beer and dreaming of when she could finally go back to speaking French.

 

She was in the middle of a nice daydream about eating freshly baked scones in a little Parisian cafe when the door burst open.

 

Danny sat on the couch, looking at Carmilla expectantly.

 

“Hey, Carmilla,” Danny said, grinning so widely it was strange.

 

“Hey, Loud Pants,” she looked pointedly down at the purple ones Danny chose to wear that night, “how did things go?”

 

“ _Fantastic.”_

 

She put her hands behind her head, reclining on the couch and sighing happily. “We talked for hours. About everything. Books, movies, our families...and I held the door open for her and pulled a chair out for her and everything--not to brag, Carmilla, but I was pretty chivalrous.”

 

“Good for you,” Carmilla answered dryly, “I can already hear wedding bells.”

 

“Well, I got a second date at least,” Danny answered. She turned toward Carmilla. “You know...I really mean it when I say thank you. I know you kind of had to help me but...you know, I’ve never felt like this before. This being in love thing? It’s kind of nice.”

 

Carmilla couldn’t help it. “Yeah, when it’s working out in your favor…”

 

“What?”

 

She stood up abruptly. “I’m going to go take a walk,” Carmilla announced, “just because I’m a Cupid doesn’t mean I want to hear every detail of your love life.”

 

Danny looked too shocked at the sudden tantrum to say anything in response. As soon as Carmilla walked out she took in a deep breath, the cold night air stinging slightly. She thought briefly about putting on her jacket. But tonight she felt like concentrating on the pounding of her feet on the sidewalk would do her good.

 

“Fucking Danny,” Carmilla mumbled, “fucking love arrows,” she kicked a pebble that was in her way, “fucking _Laura_ \--”

 

“What about Laura?”

 

Carmilla looked up. “Why are _you_ here?”

 

Laura tilted her head slightly. “Um, why am I right outside my dorm building? I kind of live here?”

 

Carmilla looked up at the building. She must have walked toward Laura’s dorm without thinking.

 

Of course. When she was upset, she went toward Laura. How disgusting.

 

“Well, it’s still late, so my point still stands.”

 

“I could ask _you_ the same thing,” Laura shot back.

 

“Oh come on,” Carmilla answered, “are you really surprised that I enjoy walking around at night?”

 

Laura laughed softly. “No, I guess not. You _are_ all broody and mysterious.”

 

“ _You_ on the other hand…” Carmilla trailed off with a smirk. Laura put her hands in the pockets of her sweatpants.

 

“I don’t know. When I have a nice day I just...like to walk outside. You know. To think?”

 

She looked up at the sky. “Especially when it’s so nice out,” she continued, “I mean, look at those stars!”

 

Carmilla looked up at the sky. “I guess,” she shrugged, “but the light pollution is pretty bad. You can’t see most of them.”

 

“Really?”

 

“No. You should see them when you’re away from the city. There’s nothing like it.”

 

For a moment Laura’s brow was furrowed in deep thought as she looked at the sky. Then she looked back at Carmilla.  

 

“Well, come on,” Laura answered.

 

“What?”

 

“There’s a hill,” Laura said, “and there’s a lot less light pollution there. It’s away from all of the buildings and stuff. I bet you can see them a lot better.”

 

Carmilla tensed, moving her jaw. “Why am I coming?”

 

“Because stargazing is always better with friends?” Laura answered, smiling sheepishly.

 

Carmilla took a breath. She could use this to Danny’s advantage. She could suggest that Laura call Danny instead. Nothing more romantic than stargazing.

 

In fact, it was on the tip of her tongue. _Danny would love to stargaze with you, why don’t you call her instead?_

 

Until she felt cool, slim fingers wrap around her wrist.

 

“I’ll show you where it is,” Laura said, “it’ll be fun.”

 

Carmilla stared at Laura in her sweatpants and tank top, her hair in frizzy disarray and her face devoid of makeup.

 

With the moon lighting her, she had never looked more beautiful.

 

Fuck it. Carmilla had to watch Danny slowly win her over, why couldn’t she have some friendly stargazing out of the deal?

 

“God, you’re stubborn as an ox, Cupcake,” Carmilla said, rolling her eyes, “lead the way.”

* * *

 

Carmilla didn’t think there was anything more beautiful than the look on Laura’s face as she looked up at the sky.

 

“ _Wow,”_ Laura breathed, “you were right, Carmilla. The stars look way better when you’re away from all the buildings.”

 

She was sure they did. But the stars weren’t what had Carmilla’s attention at the moment.

 

“It’s been awhile since I’ve had a good look at them.”

 

“Really?”

 

“I lived in Paris. The City of Lights tends to have a lot of...well, light pollution.”

 

“Ah, right, I got it.”

 

They laid a good foot away from each other, which Carmilla did purposely. Laura’s hands rested on her stomach as her eyes roamed the sky.

 

“So, is there a reason why you wanted to go for a walk, Laura?”

 

“Honestly? I have a lot to think about. I didn’t want to go to sleep yet.”

 

Carmilla’s stomach dropped. “Had a good time with the Ginger Giant?”

 

“Yeah!” Laura’s smile widened. “I had a really nice time. We have a lot in common. And Danny is really sweet. And nice.”

 

Carmilla sighed. “Well, you’ll both make a cute couple.”

 

“Haha, yeah. I guess.”

 

She bit her lip. And Carmilla’s eyebrows shot up.

 

“You...don’t sound that excited about it, Cupcake.”

 

“I mean--it’s nothing. Like I said, Danny’s great.”

 

“Sounding a bit defensive. Look, I’m Danny’s friend but that doesn’t mean I need to tell her.”

 

For a moment Laura looked Carmilla over, turning on her side; then she sat up.

 

“Like...okay. Danny’s great? And super chivalrous? And I get along really well with her? I feel like I should like her _way_ more than I do.”

 

“But...you don’t.”

 

“I don’t know _why._ I really, really liked her before. I did! I’ve been _dreaming_ that she’d ask me out. And then you told me she liked me and I was like _whoa,_ dreams come true. But then...I don’t know. She’s exactly as cool as I thought she’d be but something just isn’t _clicking._ You know?”

 

Carmilla felt a strange mix of being totally screwed and completely delighted. She wasn’t into Danny that way. But how was she supposed to get them together now?

 

“Just give it some time,” Carmilla said, “trust me. Danny is great. She’s basically a giant puppy. You’re both perfect for each other.”

 

And on paper it was true. Laura was a small fluffy puppy and Danny was a big puppy and they should be together and have puppies of their own, however much the thought made Carmilla’s skin crawl.

 

“I know,” Laura answered, sighing. “But I always...you know, I’m a romantic, I guess? I thought when I met the girl of my dreams it’d be like the movies. Eyes meet across the room. Love at first sight. And knowing from that moment on we’re meant to be together. That’s what I want--”

 

“That kind of love is bullshit,” Carmilla answered, and Laura looked taken aback. “It exists, but trust me, it’s bullshit. Do you really want to feel like there was no choice? That you’re so sickeningly obsessed that...that the thought of not ending up with them makes it feel like you can’t breathe? Especially when it’s someone you barely kno--”

 

She realized that Laura was looking at her like she had three heads. “...You’d be better off without that, trust me,” Carmilla trailed off, “the harder you fall, the worse the crash.”

 

Laura wrinkled her nose. “That’s. I mean. I’m sorry you feel like that, Carmilla. I have no idea what happened that made you so bitter, but I guess I’m sorry.”

 

She couldn’t understand. Carmilla couldn’t explain to her how she’d had hundreds of people like Danny--hundreds of people she’d pumped full of her mother’s magic until they were head over heels. Hundreds of people that, for all Carmilla knew, would have never given the other person a second look if she hadn’t intervened.

 

Carmilla used to check up on them, at first. And sometimes they were happy. But too many of them ended in slamming doors and screaming matches and her realizing that even the strongest love in the world wasn’t impossible to fall out of. She’d stopped.

 

“--Carmilla?”

 

She snapped out of her trance to look at Laura again. “I’m sorry, what?”

 

“I said, I think I’ve figured you out,” Laura repeated.

 

Carmilla rolled her eyes.

 

“You’ve been hurt,” Laura continued, “and now you try to pretend you think love is stupid and useless when really,” she grinned, “you’re just a _big softy_ at heart.”

 

“Oh _please,_ Lauronica Mars. You don’t know shit,” Carmilla answered, not unkindly.

 

“I didn’t say I figured out _everything,”_ Laura answered, “but it’s a start.”

 

They’d moved closer as they were talking; their shoulders brushed.

 

“You have a long, _long_ way to go,” Carmilla breathed, realizing how much they’d closed the distance.

 

Laura seemed to realize it too. She bit her lip. “Well,” she said slowly, “can I be honest? I think it’d be really fun to figure it out.”

 

And she decided to go for broke and lean in.

 

It would have been so easy. To do nothing. Every part of her body was begging her to lean in.

 

But Danny. And obligation. And she _couldn’t._

 

“Stop,” Carmilla choked out, jerking her head away. Panic swelled in her chest. Laura covered her mouth with a hand and then spoke through her fingers.

 

“Carmilla, I--I don’t know, I’m sorry, that was stupid. I just felt kind of confident because I finally got a girl to like me, and you’re really pretty and interesting, and _stargazing_ and I just--”

 

“Forget about me,” Carmilla said, “forget about me and go with Danny. Marry her.”

 

“Who said anything about _marriage?”_ Laura exclaimed, looking up at her, “I went on one date with Danny. I know you guys are friends, and this was a really bad idea, but you’re sounding really weird--”

 

“No, _you_ don’t get it. This isn’t how it’s supposed to happen. You’re _supposed_ to be with Danny. You’re _supposed_ to have all that true love shit with her. That’s what you’re supposed to do, and I screwed it up--”

 

“You didn’t _try_ to get me to like you, Carmilla, it’s not your fault--”

 

“You _don’t get it,”_ Carmilla snapped, “ _Danny_ is supposed to be the one you fall for, not me. And I’m not supposed to be in love with you, but I am, and it _hurts_ even though I know I was just forced to--”

 

“What the _Slytherin_ are you talking about?” Laura exclaimed, standing.

 

Carmilla was panicking. She’d never been in love before. She’d never had to deal with the swirling emotions and the pounding in her head and feeling like there was no oxygen in the air. She’d never felt so unimaginably overwhelmed.

 

So she did the only thing she could think of. She yanked her jacket from her waist, throwing it on and disappearing in front of Laura’s eyes.

 

“WHAT THE HUFFLEPUFF WHERE DID YOU GO?”

 

Well, this was a clusterfuck.

  
Carmilla didn’t even run. It was pointless. Laura couldn’t see her, and she couldn’t run away from herself.

* * *

 

It was useless at that point. She wasn’t going to get Danny together with Laura. She wasn’t going to be able to face Laura again. She just wanted to go back to Paris and zone out during the inevitable chewing out her mother would give her once she realized she ruined the job.

 

Which meant going back to Danny’s place, grabbing her bow, and getting the hell out of dodge. She had to be asleep by now. In, out, on her way to the airport.

 

Carmilla considered leaving a note briefly. As much as she couldn’t stand being her wing woman, she couldn’t deny Danny was a good person. One that deserved Laura. And a proper apology.

 

Then again, Carmilla wasn’t a good person, and she really, _really_ didn’t want to.

 

So that settled it.

 

Carmilla sighed, opening the door to her apartment--and ran into what felt like a brick wall. She removed her jacket.

 

And once again stood face to face with Danny Lawrence.

 

“Well,” Carmilla coughed, “I see you’re a boxer kind of girl, huh, Red?”

 

She shoved her phone in Carmilla’s face. “ _Explain this text.”_

 

_Laura (12:17 PM): DANNY I AM FREAKING OUT YOUR FRIEND JUST, LIKE, DISAPPEARED_

 

“Oh. Um...could have been anyone?”

 

Danny showed her the next one.

 

_Laura (12:18 PM): I WAS TALKING TO CARMILLA AND THEN POOF NO CARMILLA_

 

“Okay. So. I imagine you have more than one question to ask--”

 

“Why were you out with Laura after ten o’clock?”

 

“I went out for a walk and I ran into her.”

 

“And what happened?”

 

“I put on my jacket in front of her.”

 

“Why…?”

  
Carmilla tried to look nonchalant and shrugged. “I dunno. She was annoying me. With all her talk about stars and whatever--”

 

“Stars…?”

 

Carmilla blinked. “Uh--I mean--we might have gone for a walk. And that is totally all we did.”

 

“That is _bullshit,_ you are an awful liar.” Danny’s eyes went wide with disbelief. “Oh my God, did you and Laura go on a date?”

 

“NO! Of course not, I shut that down--” She bit her tongue and held back a cry of pain. She really was a terrible liar.

 

“Laura was _hitting on you?”_

 

Instead of answering, Carmilla pushed past Danny and walked into the apartment, not even bothering to close the door. “Where’s my bag?”

 

“She _was,_ wasn’t she? I knew wearing the corset and the leather pants was a bad idea! Carmilla!” Danny walked after her. Carmilla took the cushions off the couch, searching for her stuff.

 

“Look, you want the truth?” Carmilla said. She turned to look at Danny. “Laura isn’t into you, okay? The chemistry isn’t there. She likes you and she thinks you’re great but she’s _not into you._ ”

 

Carmilla’s insides twisted at Danny’s face. It looked like she was crumbling. “She said that?”

 

“Look, Danny, I’m sorry. I tried. But for her it’s not working.”

 

“But--but you were supposed to match me up with her.”

 

“Danny, sometimes it just doesn’t work. Love isn’t some math equation or something where you find two people and if they balance each other out it works. Sometimes they just can’t see you as more than friends. Some people need an opposite--”

 

(Laura was, apparently, one of them.)

 

“--some people need someone like them. Go find someone else, Danny. I’m not saying it’ll be easy. But eventually you can.”

 

Danny looked confused. Carmilla wasn’t surprised. Then she looked angry. Carmilla was even less surprised. “You promised you would help. And now you’re saying you’re just going to leave me heartbroken and alone? Can’t you just bite the bullet and shoot Laura with one of those arrows like you were supposed to?”

 

Carmilla tensed. “I am _not_ forcing Laura to fall in love with you if she doesn’t want to be.”

 

“You did it to _me.”_

 

“You’re not thinking straight, Danny.”

 

“Well whose fault is that?”

 

“I’m not doing it!”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because I’m in love with Laura!” Carmilla shouted.

 

Danny froze. Carmilla kept talking.

 

“Yeah. I’m in love with her, alright? I nicked myself on the point of the arrow I was supposed to shoot her with, but I tried to help you anyway because that was my job. And let me tell you--I get it. It hurts. But now Laura might actually like me and you know what, helping you date her is one thing. Taking an arrow to Laura’s back, when I’m _in love_ with her, as annoying as it is, to get her to fall in love with someone else? It’s too much. And if you’ll excuse me, I’m going _home._ ”

 

“Uh...Carmilla…”

 

“Can’t stop me Danny, I--” Carmilla turned and cursed. “Why do you _always_ just show up out of nowhere?”

 

Laura tightened and relaxed her fists at her sides, looking properly freaked out in the open doorway. “I came because Danny never texted me back and I really wanted a response to the whole ‘turned invisible’ thing,” Laura said, “and the whole ‘I think Carmilla confessed she was in love with me but we’ve only known each other for a couple of days’ thing.”

 

She ran a hand through her hair as they all stared at each other awkwardly. “I, uh...I guess I wasn’t imagining it?”

 

Carmilla and Danny blushed, looked at each other, and glared.

 

“Danny, before you say anything,” Laura stepped through the doorway, closing the door, “I tried to kiss Carmilla, and she stopped me. So it’s not her fault at all. And I’m _really_ sorry, but I just don’t like you that way. I had a really nice time. But I feel like we work better as friends.”

 

“I don’t suppose it would help if she left…?” Danny suggested weakly, pointing at Carmilla.

 

Laura looked at Carmilla. “Knowing it was just so I could be with you? No. It wouldn’t.”

 

Danny frowned. Her shoulders slumped. She took a deep breath.

 

“I’m not evil,” Danny said, “if you don’t want to be my girlfriend, I understand.”

 

Laura smiled sheepishly. “Um. Thanks. Because you _are_ awesome and, like, fifty different kinds of righteous. Want to still meet for coffee tomorrow?”

 

Danny smiled weakly. “Yeah. I guess that’d be cool.”

 

Carmilla took a step forward. “Laura--”

 

“Is it true?” Laura asked.

 

“What?”

 

She frowned. “I walked in when you were talking about accidentally nicking yourself with your arrow…? Look, I’m not pretending I understand any of this. Turning invisible and arrows and whatever. But...knowing you were _forced_ to like me? That just feels wrong. So...you know, I guess that means we’re done too.”

 

Laura and Carmilla looked at each other for another beat. Then Laura squeaked, “okay so bye!”

 

And just as quickly as Laura showed up, she was gone. Carmilla looked at Danny.

 

“Red--”

 

“You tried,” Danny said, crossing her arms and looking away from her, “I want Laura to be happy, obviously. I’m not a Zeta.”

 

“You’re a good person, Danny. I can’t stand you but you’ll have no problem finding someone who can.”

 

“Great. Yeah...you left your bag in the closet.”

 

Carmilla opened the coat closet, and grabbed her bag. “Thanks.”

 

She walked out. Looked back.

 

“Been real, I guess.”

 

Closed the door. Put on her jacket. Walked past Laura on the way out and didn’t say anything.

* * *

She knew before she knocked on the door to her apartment that something was wrong.

 

“Ella Fitzgerald…? Mattie! Open up--oh.”

 

The door was unlocked. She walked in, noticing the iPod dock piping out _Someone to Watch Over Me._ And people. Lots of attractive people.

 

“Mattie, what are you doing? I’ve been gone three days and you turned this into your bachelorette pad!”

 

“Sis!” Mattie raised a glass of champagne. “How are you? How was the assignment? You took longer than I expected.”

 

“Can you turn the music down a little?”

 

“We could talk in the hot tub if it’s too loud.”

 

“...My apartment didn’t have a hot tub when I left.”

 

She smirked. “You’re welcome.”

 

“Just give me the alcohol,” Carmilla groaned, sitting next to Mattie. Mattie had two woman with her. She looked at them and shooed them away.

 

“I’ll have plenty of time for you both later, darlings, go get yourselves a glass of wine.”

 

“Wow, Mattie, you make friends fast.”

 

“Are you really surprised?”

 

“...No,” Carmilla took a swig of champagne. Mattie wrinkled her nose.

 

“Dear Lord, it’s _champagne,_ not _beer_ , Millie.”

 

“Sorry,” Carmilla said dryly. She lifted her pinky finger and continued to gulp it down.

 

“Rough few days?”

 

“Fuck, Mattie, Maman is going to kill me.”

 

Mattie raised an eyebrow and placed her glass on the side table. “Now _this_ I need to hear.”

 

Carmilla leaned in closer to Mattie. This was her sister. And she needed to talk to _someone._ This was the most emotionally trying three days of her life.

 

Mattie said nothing as Carmilla spoke. When she was finished, Mattie nodded for a few moments, taking it in.

 

“Well, Maman will probably find this _hilarious._ ”

 

“But I’m in huge trouble, right?”

 

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll get an earful. But I doubt you’ll get much punishment for it,” she started laughing, “dear God, you accidentally _shot yourself?_ That is just amazing.”

 

“No, I _cut myself._ There’s a difference. It was such a _disaster._ I forced Danny to fall in love with that girl and then I couldn’t even get her a second date.”

 

“Oh, calm down, Millie. It’s just a little love magic. No one is _really_ in love just because you shoot them with those things.”

 

Carmilla stared at her. “Wait...what? It’s love magic. You shoot them, they fall in love. That’s why they’re called _love arrows.”_

 

“She hasn’t used love magic that strong on mortals since the other gods threw a fit over the Paris and Helen fiasco. Do you pay _any_ attention to what Maman tells us? ”

 

“I shirked on my job for centuries, Mattie, clearly I don’t.”

 

“They’re _puppy love_ arrows,” Mattie answered, “a crush. Infatuation. Initial lust. Maman pairs people up who seem to be compatible, makes them head over heels for each other, and _then_ they fall in love. On their own. And if they don’t? It goes away. Like _any crush._ ”

 

Carmilla felt her face heating up. “But--but--Laura was a complete dork. She made Harry Potter references. She wore animal print shirts. Not even, like, leopard either. Bunnies and cats and giraffes--”

 

“Oh my,” Mattie quipped.

 

“I would _never_ fall for a girl like that!”

 

Mattie leaned back with a smirk. “Well, maybe that’s because you never would have given them a _chance_ before.”

 

“But--”

 

“You only go after girls for one night stands, Millie. Oh, I’m not saying that’s bad, I do it too. But have you ever considered what you would do if you actually wanted a _relationship?”_

 

“I don’t _want_ a relationship,” Carmilla answered. But even she wasn’t convinced. Laura was easy to talk to when she wasn’t over thinking things. She liked being around her. And, even though she’d never kissed her, she felt more just being near her than she’d ever had with any of her girl of the nights.

 

“I can’t make your decision for you, Carmilla,” Mattie answered, “love is a decision. But if this girl really was wrong for you, having feelings for her wouldn’t still be a problem.”

 

Carmilla stared straight ahead. Well. This was the definition of mind blowing.

 

“Give me that bottle,” Carmilla said.

 

Mattie, with a look of affectionate pity, handed it to her. Carmilla gulped down the remaining contents, wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, and stood up.

 

“Thanks Mattie. I needed that.”

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“I’m making a decision,” Carmilla answered. She walked past Mattie’s two ‘friends’ holding glasses and a wine bottle. She grabbed the bottle out of their hands as she ran out the door.

* * *

 

Carmilla kept her jacket on for most of the walk when she made it back to Laura’s campus. She didn’t want to run into Danny. And she was not opposed to changing her mind at the last possible second.

 

She slowed down her fast pace when she saw Perry and LaFontaine sitting on a bench together. LaF leaned in to kiss Perry on the cheek and she blushed.

 

Carmilla faked a gag and kept walking.

 

“Come on Laura, where are you…”

 

It wasn’t until she walked past that same cafe she’d met Laura and Danny at less than a week ago--God, was it seriously less than a week ago?--that she saw her. Reading a book in one hand and typing at her laptop with the other. Sucking hot chocolate through a straw.

 

As soon as Carmilla saw her, she knew; this was not something she could back out of.

 

She strode over, throwing off her jacket after she sat in the chair across from Laura.

 

“Hey, Cupcake.”

 

“IN THE NAME OF THE GOD IN THE SHINY BLUE--” Laura clutched her chest. “Oh my God, Carmilla, if I had a horcrux you would have scared it right out of me.”

 

And then Laura realized what just happened. She sucked in a breath. “Uh...hey.”

 

“Hey.”

 

“How have you been? Danny told me about you. And she seems sane so I believe her. How has the whole goddess thing been working out for you? Did I mention LaF and Perry finally started going out? Thank you for that--”

 

“Shut up,” Carmilla said affectionately, leaning in.

 

“I’m sorry I should totally shut up now I will and--” She closed her mouth with her hand.

 

“Now I know what you said before, that you don’t want to be with someone that only likes you because of some magic. But hear me out. Laura, I _do_ have a choice.”

 

Laura frowned, and Carmilla continued. “I may not have chosen to have feelings for you at first, but...I can choose whether I would rather be in a relationship than not. And I’ve felt more in a few days talking to you than centuries of other women have given me. I can choose whether or not I want to try and get over you. And I don’t want to. And Laura, I can choose whether or not I want to fall in love with you. That has nothing to do with magic.”

 

Carmilla laced her fingers together, biting her lip and staring at Laura nervously.

 

“Do you…?” Laura asked.

 

Carmilla took a breath. “I don’t know yet. But I’ve never wanted to find out before.”

 

“I am being hit on by a love goddess,” Laura breathed, “less than a week ago I was a nerd and a virgin and now I’m _still_ a nerd and a virgin but I also am being hit on by a love goddess.”

 

Carmilla grinned wickedly. “Well, we can take care of one of those things, cutie.”

 

“You better not say that during our date.”

 

“Date…?”

 

Laura got up from her chair, walking over to Carmilla. “Want to take a walk?”

 

“God, that is the most amazing offer I have ever heard. But first…”

 

Laura bent down, grabbed Carmilla by the waist, and pulled her up as she was kissing her.

 

“Sorry, I just wanted to make the first move,” Laura said.

 

“It’s okay, _believe me,”_ Carmilla answered, “I _definitely_ want to date you.”

 

“I just kissed a love goddess,” Laura said, taking Carmilla’s hand and raising it in the air, “I JUST KISSED A LITERAL LOVE GODDESS!”

 

“ _Shhh,_ that’s kind of something I like to keep low-key?”

 

“Sorry. But... _love goddess._ ”

 

Carmilla laughed, shaking her head. “Let’s walk.”

 

It was almost night time, and Laura looked up at the sky. “We should go back to the hill,” Laura said, “and recreate that stargazing we did. With _way_ more kissing and way less...not kissing.”

 

“Sounds great.”

 

Laura looked at Carmilla softly and, after clearing her throat:

 

“You know, if this goes well...maybe one day we can both be up there,” Laura pointed at the sky, smirking, “the constellation ‘Laura and Carmilla’.”

 

Carmilla smiled at Laura. “I don’t know. You’re as beautiful as the stars already.”

  
Laura stared at Carmilla and started laughing.

 

“I _knew_ you were a sap!” Laura exclaimed, “I _knew it!”_

 

“You made it too easy!” Carmilla answered.

 

“I guess I just need to get used to my girlfriend saying super corny things,” Laura said, nudging her in the shoulder and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

 

Relationships between mortals and gods usually ended badly.

 

Carmilla knew now that this arrow magic was simple. Fleeting. An initial attraction and nothing else.

 

But with the warmth of Laura’s hand in her own and the feeling of her lips still lingering on her cheek, Carmilla still felt like she never really had a choice.


End file.
